if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
