i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
