you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
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