I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
