Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
