omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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