I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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