her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
It all started with a game of naked twister.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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