her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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