Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
third nipple confirmed
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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