i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
