love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
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