wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Randomize
