Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
