I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
its liver damage thursday
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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