I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
