so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
