she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
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