Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
