You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
i now understand why vodka
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
