she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
