Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
