I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
