Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
