The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
