I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
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