i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
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