I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You were trust falling into bushes
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
