Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
