did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
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