Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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