I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
