why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My ass is underappreciated
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
