Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
this just has baby written all over it
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
is it fun? or sober?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
