I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
Randomize
