I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
