so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
