at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
