My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Randomize
