It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
