Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
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