My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
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