We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
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