I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
