You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
pray to the hookup gods
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
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