areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
