For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
