Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
