hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
