is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
